6 reasons not to mess with children

Jonah

**A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.***

**The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.**

**The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.**

**Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.**

**The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".**

**The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"**

**The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".***


Drawing

**A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.***

**As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.***

**The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."**

**The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."***

**Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."***

10 Testaments

**A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.***

***After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"***

***Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."**


Pictures

* The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."**

standing

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."**

take one

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.**